Oh look, an update! 

Our annual camping trip with the Seehafers. Our Gilbert friends couldn't make it. But due to baby, we decided to try a new place this year and not have to worry about wild horses and human consuming mosquitos... It was lovely.

RECAP:

-Nights Hurricane Irene effected: 0
-Pieces of baby equipment we brought: 6
-Asian Campers we saw: 93
-Times baby ate non-edible things: 14
-Random "nature house" with bored lonely nerdy nature guy: 1
-Close encounters with wild horses: 0
-Mosquito bites: 3

Success.
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Why hullo. 09/17/2011
 
It appears as if it's been almost a year since i've last visited here. Wow does time fly. I don't know why I abandoned this site in the first place. Maybe it was Tumblr's trendy layout and webby [two-oh] buttons. Whatever it was, it got me. But after an email from a friend this week, it reminded me of its existence and I decided to do a quick update on my pages over here. No big clean sweep or anything, but it's a start. I do still love that you can find my whole [online] world here, and within a single jump, get anywhere you want to all sorts of media. I hope to revive its life. We'll see what I come up with for content. Love you guys. If anyone is really reading still....
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The Birth Partner
 by Penny Simkin

RATING:
 5 of 5 stars

 __________

This book is amazing, amazing, AMAZING! I can't recommend it enough. It's the most practical, useful book i may have ever read in my life. The entire thing is pure advice, tips, and insight to what you will experience, generally speaking (the most common ways women progress through labor, etc). The book is written for the birth partner (aka, dad [although she does a very subtle, PC job of saying at the beginning, this could mean lover, gay partner, boyfriend, parent, etc]), but is clearly for the mom too.

So basically the book starts off at the last few weeks of pregnancy and goes into "what kind of birth partner will you be" and "how you will feel" at different moments throughout the labor. She offers a list of questions for reflection of the most common feelings... How will i feel when: she asks me to take time off to go to prenatal appointments with her, she tells me she signed us up for 12-18 hours of birth classes, she asks me to read this book... Haha. I love it. ...i'm tired or hungry but she needs my help during every contraction, she criticizes me (not like that, don't touch me, don't breathe on me, don't leave me). Then she later in the book she goes into "answering" those, or rather, how you can deal with the most common emotions for each stage.

She provides a list of things to do to get ready for labor, the list of supplies you should pack to take to the hospital for you, for the mother, and for the baby. She lists exercises you should be doing to prepare for birth (pelvic rocks, the birth squat, kegels, etc), and massages (perineals). She discusses how to track kick counts, what should be in your birth plan, including labor options, birth options, and after-birth options, what the minimal supplies are you need to care for a new infant/ to take them home, and how to best be prepared with things a lot of people don't think about (like choosing a pediatrician before the baby arrives).

In the labor part, she breaks down the physical attributes of what's actually happening inside your body during each stage, the factors that play a role and what happens in each (size of the baby, condition of the cervix, position of the baby's head, mother's emotional state), and then the signs of labor and how to tell pre-labor from active labor (possible signs, preliminary signs, positive signs), what happens in each stage, both with your body and with what she will experience and feel, and when to know when to do what. She explains how to time contractions and provides a chart, and in each section of the stages of labor, she breaks it down into what it is, how long it will last, how the mother will feel (a handful of the most common ones; ie - confusion, excitement, fear, doubt, encouragement, fatigue, worry), how you may feel, what the caregiver will do, and how you (the birth partner) can help.

By the end, she provides a slew of positions (with pictures) the mom can labor in that helps ease contractions, including ones that will help with specific 'problems': a breech baby, back labor, etc. And positions to birth in.

Seriously, amazing. (also, every doula we interviewed before choosing one, when i would mention we were reading this book, they all said "oh i have that in my bag with me right now. I use that for every birth i attend. It's amazing"). It's "the birth partner's bible". I will be recommending this to every woman i know expecting.

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Illegal Layoffs 09/15/2010
 
They always say you're protected against discrimination. Race, creed, orientation, and all sorts of other things... but last week I got laid off, which came as a huge surprise, and it wasn't out of anything legitimate. They called me in and started spouting some poorly rehearsed lines about restructuring, possibly outsourcing, they wanted to go in another direction, maybe get rid of my department all together, blah blah blah and how it had nothing to do with me… whatever. Everyone knows it’s because they didn’t want to deal with my absence come maternity leave, especially since the woman due this week over there is taking FOUR MONTHS off (when they only offer 6 weeks, and even then it's not true maternity, they default to government disability leave. Pathetic.), which for a coordinator is easy to sub for, but as the sole person in marketing, is much more difficult and I’m sure freaked them out.

I had my 2 year review just a few weeks ago. No I didn't see shooting stars and fireworks, but nothing was eluded to along such dire veins, and certainly nothing resembling extreme performance dissatisfaction (which they still hold firm wasn't the case). Of course, he had said he was unhappy with "where marketing was at lately", but so had I, and although he may not want to be honest with himself about the symptoms (mainly, his lack of involvement and dedication to get things done on his end, which made everything back up), we agreed to at least some new solutions and he walked out of there smiling and we had a plan moving forward. So then couple that with the fact that I was due to be absent for at least 6 weeks at the most important time of the year (the beginning), I’m sure they figured, may as well explore another avenue and get a fresh start, and do it now before anyone can question the motive.

Ya it’s illegal, but not provable, so what can I do? Get a lawyer like everyone is suggesting? I'm not sure I want to bother going down that road. Partly because I'm fuzzy on how I feel about suing, in any circumstance (I mean, strongarming someone because you feel treated unfairly is a bit of low-stooping, and why play dirty just because they did), and partly because it's a hassle. Except that it’d be a bit sweet tasting since I’m pretty pissed my boss didn’t have the balls to confront me himself. Smiled right to my face during our regular weekly meeting the day before. What a coward.

So really what protection do we have? As someone being discriminated against and yet unable to do anything about it because there's no paper-proof. I mean, yes I can tell them what physical signs I got... the fact that when I told my boss (against all the suggestions in books and online to try and hide it from an employer as long as physically possible) he didn't smile, didn't really respond, didn't even give me a freaking congratulations. The fact that he did not ONCE ask me how I was doing the last 3 months, when everyone else in the entire company (40), minus a few brought it up to me... I mean, it's the considerate normal thing to do when you see a pregnant woman! Oh, and then there's the little episode in the conference room a few weeks ago. When I mentioned wanting to get 2011 plans underway early and set because I'm going to be gone the first few weeks in January, he literally slammed both his hands down on the desk, yells "Fine! Get it done then!" and storms out of the meeting, out of nowhere. Ya, those things. But nah, I'm sure my pregnancy had nothing to do with it, right? I mean, if it were really lack of funds or company restructuring, why not outsource to ME, or cut my hours, or tell me they have to cut my wages, or at the very least, ask me to help them transition? Why say that they don't want to "burn bridges" (ya, that's not shady-talk) and that they can be a reference for me, and even help me network to find me a new placement, yet not respond to my email when I try taking them up on it?  Why "escort me out" and not let me get my things; tell me they'll mail them to me (which, by the way, is so unbelievably invasive and degrading). No, there's really no other logical reason. And it's interesting, since telling friends and acquaintances about it, the most common reply I've heard so far has been: Oh my friend[s] so and so got laid off while they were pregnant, too, also out of nowhere! This really isn't coincidence people. It's a problem.

The only real "solution" I can offer to anyone pregnant and working and reading this, is: Take the advice of all the other stuff you've read, and DO NOT DISCLOSE until absolutely unavoidable any longer. I mean, first of all, it's a private matter, and it's none of their business for most of the pregnancy, until it gets right down to it. Honestly, if it were possible, I think it should be treated just as someone quitting would treat it. Two weeks notice. If that's enough time to give the company to get themselves together to find a permanent replacement for you, it's definitely plenty of time for them to find a temporary replacement.
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The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
 by Henci Goer

RATING:
 4 of 5 stars

 __________

I started at the back of the book because I was anxious to read about OBs vs midwives and the chapter on "location location location", which is fine, but I wouldn't recommend doing if you can start reading it earlier on in the pregnancy (I’d recommend right away; alongside when you're choosing your caregiver at square one). Especially if it's one of your first books, or you're just starting to 'educate'... It gets a bit overwhelming with the position they take (the back of the book says it's hard to find an unbiased book... This is BIIIAAASED, but I think still needed, considering what we're surrounded with today) (wow, I’m sounding vague)...

The book is basically about a lot of misconceptions with birthing in today's culture. Hospitals, doctors, medicine, cesarean rates... And promotes midwives, birth centers, and home births above all else. It was recommended to me by a doula, and I was somewhat skeptical of it when I first opened it, and I didn't think I wanted any of what it was promoting originally, but I brought it with me on the subway and though I’d at least skim it... Within 2 pages I was sold. Seriously, I highly highly recommend this as primary reading. At the very least, it opens your eyes to a lot of the birthing process and the knowledge you should have, no matter what routes you end up going. There is so much out there to learn about and I nearly literally knew none of it. Especially from what I’ve been fed from the media and 'stories', this is just so much more of the bigger, more detailed, picture.

She has a TON of sources listed at the back (like a half inch of pages), but it kinda bugged me [a lot] she didn't actually cite them throughout the text. So it seems very statistic laden, but you can't really pinpoint which is which. Regardless, the point gets through. And even though I found myself aggravated at parts on how crazily anti-hospital/OB/drugs she is, I still found it all to be insightful and helpful, and I still read the whole thing.

UPDATE: Her other book I just came across Obstetric Myths vs Research Realities looks amazingly full of sources cited, research, statistics, graphs, and all sorts of case studies. Just perused it in Google Books, but it seems very similar to this one in point, except MUCH much more analytical and factual; more like a fieldwork paper with findings. If you're a skeptical person or more left-brained, this second book seems like a good sidekick to have alongside with this read.

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RECAP:
Nights hurricane Earl hit: 0
Things I couldn't consume because of Baby Wilks: 4
Number of horses who attacked our food: 0
Mosquito bite count: 7 on left arm, 2 on head, 3 on middle right finger, 6 on behind.
Pancake sized spider bites: 0
50-year-old hippie surfer with a "permanently closed" surf shop listed on Google who still rents boards out of his garage sometimes: 1


Overall, another successful year.
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Okay I lied. 07/21/2010
 
I must have had my fingers crossed when I wrote that last post, because I obviously didn't come back soon and write. 

But so much as been happening!!

I did, however, update the rest of the site! Fresh reading material, a fun connection spot, offering probably waytoomany ways to stay in touch with us, virtual blurb book viewing, and a new baby page! Of course all our daily pics and vids are still trucking along as usual, as well as our status updates, for those who care, or read this, which I'm guessing isn't much more than family. :)  (love you guys!!!)

Hope everyone out there is doing well. I really do miss this site. It's just so fancy and all encompassing...
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Dear Blog, 04/16/2010
 
I'm sorry for neglecting you. I know yesterday's post was the first time in a long time, but I promise I still like you, a lot, and want to continue to give to this relationship. You provided me with so much when I had nothing in the world [wide web], I don't want to abandon you now. I just... I have a confession, and I know you know, but I've been hosting with another blog, and I, I think I love them. But in another way! They can't give me everything you can, with your pages and your embedding abilities, but they do provide some things that you just can't promise me. A community. Followers. Searching capabilities. And quite frankly, better archiving. It's not your fault!  I mean, know you try hard, and like I said, you're both so different, so I love both of you, for the different ways you meet my needs. I do appreciate you, weebly-blog, and promise to show you some better love and attention. I should at least be more balanced with my time. I know that. I'll visit you more often. Pinky swear.


~MW
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Atlas Shrugged 04/15/2010
 

Atlas Shrugged
 by Ayn Rand

RATING:
 3 of 5 stars

 __________

I didn't like this book NEARLY as much as I liked her first (The Fountainhead). I feel like I could compare the two to Sam Mendes' Revolutionary Road vs American Beauty. American Beauty was incredible. Well written, concise, and subtly obvious; beautifully done and executed and a huge, HUGE hit. Then some years later Sam decides to recreate that glory and makes a second film mirroring the first. Except this time it's obnoxious and in your face, and annoying in that you're constantly thinking "Didn't you already make your point with this the first time? Why am I subjected to this again? Is that your only powerful thought?" And it's overall painful to get through.

Atlas Shrugged was wayyyy overdone. She hammers her point so loudly it's a struggle to continue on with the book. Of course I still think she's a brilliant writer, and there's something to be said for the story, and in that sense it's worth the read (she does make a interesting and strong arguments, not that I necessarily prescribe to them wholly), but I must warn: it's tiring. The first 250 pages are tough to push through and feel like you're getting somewhere, and then at points when the dialogue is just so.... "really??" it makes you push away from the heros instead of attract (like these parts: "You're so great" "I know" "No one in the world can match what we do." "I know" "We are the world's only chance." "I know." [literally they said I know:] "Why are you the only real man in the world?" "I don't know." "Why must we put up with so much idiocy?" "I don't know."), and then by the time you feel like you're almost at the end, you're hit with a 52 page speech by one of the main characters. And believe me, after getting through 950 pages and knowing I only had 100 left, that STILL made me almost want to put the book down, or just skip it all together. Aside from that, my other qualm with this one are her obnoxious characters. At least in The Fountainhead there was one lone hero and he pushed through all the injustice and held strong against his adversaries to the end. He stayed strong and he didn't *really* push his agenda on the world, only to those who asked. He just knew what he believed and he acted on it, letting the world observe. He was fairly humble. In this one though, the characters are so annoyingly heroistic (I know that's not a real word), they make you dislike them (as I briefly exampled above). They think/know/act so much holier than the whole word outside of their little circle. She pits mind and heart against each other and advocates they can't coexist, leaving you feeling like a jerk. And for me, although a capitalist, I don't believe we should leave the poor to rot and not 'give' (that's a whole other topic and can of worms I won't unleash here, but one to contend with while reading this book; it's a good challenge, and I agree with her principles in terms of our country's work ethic, but like I said, I don't believe in exclusivity with her ideology). So wrapping this up, I feel like she topped everything off by developing everyone so well except for one, which ended up being a big deal for me, because by the end I was suddenly supposed to care for this person, but I didn't. Why? Because she forced me to care for others for a gazillion pages until the end.

Overall, I just don't get why she chose to take away the brilliance of her first with the watered-down (or rather, amped-up) version of her second. Try it out though. My friend keeps telling me she's heard that you always like whichever book you read first, but I have yet to meet anyone yet who prefers this one over her first.

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Hunter Mtn LOCATION: 5 stars.
Hunter Mtn RESORT: 3.
Hunter Mtn RESTAURANT INSIDE: -100.
So I figure a 2 is fair overall (reviewed on Yelp).


LOCATION.
Excellent. You can't argue that. It's on the slopes, you can ski right to the lifts, and back to your lodge (if you take a certain trail back down). but I think the fact that the location is so clutch makes these people think they have a free pass to be total d-bags in every other regard...


RESORT.
Terrible service. We stayed Friday and Saturday nights. We originally had 14 people for Sat, 7 for Friday, so we reserved a 2b friday, 3b sat, but then ended up with only 5 friday, 10 Saturday so tried downgrading... but, get this, the rooms were the SAME PRICE.  So it was pointless to get a smaller room if we weren't going to pay less, so we kept it.  How illogical is that?  The place itself was nice: the main room had a full kitchen (looked like brand new appliances) decent size bathroom, big closet, dining table, hideaway queen bed, fold out couch, little tv, and a fireplace. the connecting room had a regular sized bathroom, real queen bed, pull out couch, good size tv, and a balcony that overlooked the pool/jacuzzis and mountain/ski lifts. The crappy parts: no room service available, beds were INSANELY hard, and they charge $10 per 24hrs for internet service. 


RESTAURANT. (Van Winkles) - aka, DO NOT GO HERE!
This is the part that gets horrifically bad. Not only does the food BLOW (I mean, it's baaaad), but the people who run it are unbelievable morons. I'll paste the formal complaint I wrote below for your enjoyment.


click to read and see pictures of the so called "manager" who assaulted me because I touched his seating chart, the seating chart, and of the empty restaurant at two different points of the night...
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