So the other night my female domestic instinct instantly spiked when I came home expecting to curl up next to hubby and watch a movie only to discover he had expected to curl up with his PS3 after a week of not having played it. I was slaughtered with hurt feelings, assuming the worst possibilities: My husband isn't as interested in me as he is his PS3; My husband is turning into one of *those guys*; My husband is fulfilled with me after only one evening alone this week? Of course none of those are true, but it's hard to keep telling my little self to keep an understanding of a few things:
- He doesn't have any time outside of work or away from me to do these things, and obviously he can't cut into work time to do them. So what, I'm going to keep him from doing his hobbies just because I get my fix during the day and he doesn't? Why is that fair? He needs to unwind just as much as I do, he needs to feel like he can have his own interests and not just have 'work and home'. How would I feel if I couldn't do any of the creative things I enjoy doing? That would be really crappy.
- So many women stifle their men so that they feel trapped and depleted of their testosterone and wild side. But men ARE wild, they're not domestic, and I don't want him to be otherwise. His manliness is part of what makes me love and value him so much and I don't ever want to suffocate that. Men not only need time to act out their male interests, but also, if they're working hard all day and spend time with you all week, why can't they spend an evening playing poker online or their PS3 for a few hours? It's not like I don't have my own projects I can take advantage of during that time at home too. And it's fulfilling to get to see him blow stuff up and get all excited about it. It rejuvenates him in certain ways that spending time with me doesn't. (Just like spending time with me rejuvenates him in ways like nothing else) ;)
- I don't want to be *that woman*.